Posts Tagged ‘emotion’

Why Not to Date a Married Man?

Posted in Dating on January 2nd, 2012 by Mental Health – Be the first to comment

Lovely CoupleWomen often date married men. Some of them date him only because of the reason that they don’t know that he is actually married while on the other hand some women date a man even if they know that he is already married. There are a few reasons that why you have to avoid dating a man who is married and some of them are:

A married man cannot commit a better future with you

Because he is already married, he cannot commit you for a long term relation and there is no probability that you can stay with him in the future. May be in case you are planning to do stay you cannot do it openly all the time and also he cannot come to meet you all the time as he has to take care of his wife and children as well. The one who is not satisfied with his wife cannot satisfy you in the future. He may try to convince you by saying something like “I can spend my rest of life with you” don’t take it seriously as it may his plan to convince you by attacking on your emotions and make you feel that he actually care for you when he is not.

Avoid him he is already a cheater

Always remember that someone who is already cheating his wife, why does he hesitate in cheating you in the future. When a married man dates you it give a clear indication that he is not loyal to his wife and obviously he don’t likes her and this is exactly what his formula of handling something to whom he don’t like.

You are kidding yourself

This is something that experts say when you have a relationship with a married man. Someone who is not able to tell her wife directly that I have a problem with you, how can such a person handle your problems in the future? Obviously what he needs is time to spend with someone and completes his needs and that is why he is with you. He cannot commit a better future with you. May be if he does he cannot and thus he is just passing time with you.

Time is precious don’t waste it

Because you know that the probability of having a married man in your life is quite less and you cannot have a long term relation with such a man so it is better to focus on your future and have someone else in your life rather than wasting the time on someone who is married. This may go to highly affect your upcoming future and create several issues in the life.

There are certain other things that make you realize that why dating a married man is nothing but a stupidity and these are:

  • You are contributing in destroying the life of his wife and his children with him.
  • You are just killing your own self respect and reputation in the society as well.
  • Definitely you are having a strong probability that he will cheat you in the future as well just like he cheats his wife.

Dating Someone with ADHD

Posted in ADD/ADHD on December 4th, 2011 by Mental Health – Be the first to comment

Angry guyDating someone with ADHD can be extremely difficult. This kind of behavioral disorder will create misunderstanding and challenges in a relationship. Individuals who have ADHD mostly have anger impulsivity and disorganization. They mostly have the inability of paying attention to others and poor communication. Sometimes they tend to forget things quickly and say hurtful things to others. Sometimes they have really over sensitivity to criticism, motional over-reactions, moodiness, quick temper and low tolerance for frustrations.

There are certain things that you have to do to make out a successful date or relationship with a person who has ADHD. A wide room for understanding and patience is necessary in this relationship. Try as much as you can to be the opposite of the person who has the disorder. If you are both moody, then there will be a crash. As the old saying goes, always put water over fire. You must learn to avoid the situations or instances that may trigger the symptoms of the disorder. You must know how to adjust because you are the one who has the ability to think well.

Build up an open communication with your partner. If you have any problems, try talking things out and communicate each other about your feelings and needs. Sit and talk together regularly. Communication is vital to every relationship. Maintain an eye contact with your partner when talking to each other. Show interest and always make him feel that you care. This person is forgetful and might miss out important plans and date. Always be forgiving to him since this is not really his intention. Be sensitive to your partner and avoid things that might trigger his anger. If you are not capable of settling the problem on your own, seek professional help or counseling. This will provide better changes in your relationship.

Sad girlYou must understand that a person who has an ADHD who walks into a relationship will be carrying a baggage of emotions and would get worst if he was not diagnosed on his childhood days. Growing up with something that is not the right behavior but don’t know about it, could lead someone to make erroneous conclusions. This can lead to the creation of negative image for them. If they grow up hearing different negative messages from others about themselves, it would make them believe that they are less capable of doing things that others can. Try to make sure to give words of encouragement and establish great confidence within.

It is very important for the spouse of a person who has ADHD to understand the emotional issues involved to add significance to the relationship. If the partner would understand all these issues and accept them, there would be greater chances of a successful relationship. In addition, an adult with this condition doesn’t have any control to turn on and off its symptoms. An appropriate treatment would be most recommended for an adult who has been dealing with ADHD to be able to create and develop strategies of coping up with its most recent issues.

Adult ADD/ADHD Symptoms and Treatments

Posted in ADD/ADHD on December 4th, 2011 by Mental Health – Be the first to comment

Adult ADD/ADHDThe Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) which is well known in children is also recognized in adults. This term is most familiar to educators, mental and medical health professionals. It is distinguished from other kinds of disorder through its persistence to certain groups of symptoms and its differences in intensity. The diagnosis for ADHD will not be confirmed with the absence or presences of some symptoms. Sometimes if you undergo a diagnosis as a child, chances are most of the systems will be carried out when you grow older. It normally develops from a combination of life experiences and genetic inheritance. Generally, this genetic inheritance of personality qualities of an individual will result to lack of fit between performance and expectations.

Symptom

This behavioral disorder has greater impacts to adults because of its variety of frustrating symptoms which may block everything from your career to your relationship. But once you understand the difficulties of having an ADD/ADHD, you will learn how to deal with your weaknesses and take advantage of your talents and strengths. The characteristics and symptoms for this condition is a problem on poor attention, effective self-regulation and moderating emotions.  All of us requires self-regulation in coping up with the demands in our ever y day lives and develop successful skills. For someone who has ADHD, the main problem with self-regulation usually causes difficulty of managing one’s emotions. He/she might respond to smaller events with excessive reaction and emotion without noticing more important issues. Unlike other people, ADHD patients require longer periods of time to develop self regulated or habitual behaviors. The most common specific symptoms for having an ADHD are having trouble concentrating or staying focus, hyper focus, disorganization and forgetfulness, impulsivity, emotional difficulties and hyperactivity or restlessness.

Treatment

Many adults with ADHD symptoms have manage their own way of dealing with the problem. To be able to control your symptoms, you eat right and get some exercise to work off excess energy and calm your body. Get plenty of sleep and manage your time by using timers or alarm to stay in track. Work on your relationships and create a supportive working environment. If it is possible you chose a work which will help motivate your interest and team up with less creative, more organized individuals who can make a beneficial partnership with you. If the symptoms for your ADHD persist, you can call this time a professional to help you.

The kind of therapy or treatment use in solving this problem done by professionals can be both helpful to related emotional issues and practical daily events. Normally, they use the talk therapy, marriage and family therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy. Support groups who can give you good words of encouragement. Professional organizers and behavioral coaches are not considered alternatives for therapy, but they can be a better supplement to the ADD/ADHD treatment plan. A behavioral coach will focus the work on emotional problems and provides solutions that are practical on your everyday life. He/she will visit you on your home or workplace, check things that needs adjustments and suggests a couple of changes if needed.

Anorexia, Bulimia, and Other Eating Disorders Explained

Posted in Eating Disorders on May 13th, 2010 by Mental Health – Be the first to comment

Eating disorders affect thousands of people each year. The majority of sufferers are young females, though men, boys, and older women also suffer from eating disorders. Any unhealthy eating pattern that one permanently participates in could be considered an eating disorder. Many people have an eating disorder for quite a while before they realize it. Here are some common eating disorders explained.

Anorexia Nervosa

Anorexia Nervosa is probably the most widely discussed eating disorder. It is the eating disorder that results in the most obvious physical changes for the sufferer. Though sufferers of bulimia may maintain a normal body weight, anorexics are unable to maintain a normal body weight because of their refusal to eat.

Anorexia Nervosa is characterized as a complete refusal to keep body weight above 85% of what is considered normal. Anorexia Nervosa typically involves extreme calorie restriction in one’s daily diet. Many sufferers of this illness go through phases of bulimia.

Anorexics typically have extremely low self esteem. This disease is common in those who are considered “perfectionists” by outsiders. Though many anorexics have an intense fear of gaining weight, a lack of control over life seems to be the determining factor in what creates an anorexic. Anorexia often occurs in the lives of young adults who are struggling with stress and anxiety. They feel that they have no control over their lives and are spinning out of control. Living on an extremely low calorie diet and maintaining an abnormally thin figure becomes a way of controlling their environment.

Bulimia Nervosa

Bulimia is characterized as the binging and purging of food. Many anorexics also go through phases of bulimia. Bulimics may purge through vomiting or overuse of laxatives.

It is important to note that simply purging food would be more a characteristic of anorexia, where the sufferer will sometimes make themselves vomit or overuse laxatives to completely empty the system after a day of barely eating. Bulimics purge after an episode of intense binge eating and this is a very important characteristic of their disorder.

Recent research indicates that there is likely a genetic factor involved in bulimia though it is likely triggered by an environmental catalyst. Bulimics are often people who are overwhelmed by the emotions of everyday life. They have an incredibly difficult time dealing with intense emotions and seek out a means of punishment for what they feel they have failed at. Bulimics may be suffering because of how they feel toward themselves or how they feel toward an event that has occurred.

Compulsive Overeaters

Though anorexia and bulimia are the two eating disorders that seem to get the most attention, eating disorders are not simply related to weight loss. Eating an abnormal amount of food on a regular basis is also considered an eating disorder.

People who use food as a means of hiding their emotions or seem to have a food addiction are considered compulsive overeaters. Compulsive overeaters are sometimes called emotional eaters.  Though many people eat when they are feeling down, compulsive overeaters take it to the extreme. The underlying cause of compulsive overeating, like all eating disorders, is a lack of self esteem. Compulsive overeating is very common in sufferers of sexual abuse.

Reference Something-Fishy

Husband Doesn’t Want a Baby

Posted in Love, Marriage, Relationship on May 11th, 2010 by Mental Health – Be the first to comment

Family ProblemsIt is great when a couple can decide at the same time that they are ready to have children. For some folks it just isn’t that easy. Many times women find themselves ready to have children while their spouses aren’t quite prepared for the challenge. Here’s some advice for those of you who may be in this situation.

Let’s Wait

If your husband simply isn’t ready for a child at this particular moment there is probably a good reason for his fears. Like it or not women are more emotional thinkers. Men tend to think more rationally especially when it comes to child rearing. It is vitally important to keep communication open in a marriage and this is no different. Sit down with your husband and discuss why he doesn’t want to have a child right now. You might find that he has some pretty good reasons for wanting to wait.

What to Do and What Not to Do

Regardless of what your husband’s reasons are for waiting, he has the right to request that you wait. It is not a good idea to force parenthood on anyone. If your husband isn’t ready for a child then you should never use deceptive practices to try and get pregnant without his knowledge.  Stopping the pill or puncturing your diaphragm might get your pregnant but the results are probably going to be a lot less than desirable if your husband isn’t interested in children. There is no excuse for bringing a child into the world with someone who doesn’t want them. Don’t be so quick to assume that your husband will change his mind when he sees the baby. Even if he does change his mind when the baby arrives, there will always be the fact that your betrayed his trust lingering in the relationship as a dark cloud.

Keeping the Relationship Intact

Being in a relationship with someone who has no desire to have children can be extremely difficult for those who have a great desire to have their own children someday. Ideally this is something that you will discuss before you get married and realize that this person may never change. If you are already in the marriage before you accept or realize that your husband truly doesn’t want to have children it doesn’t have to be the end.

Make sure that your partner knows how important having children is to you. If your husband still does not want to have children then you may have a problem that can’t be rectified. When you come to a situation like this the best thing to do in order to save your marriage is to seek counseling. Hopefully through mediation you can come to a better understanding of each other’s desires.

If counseling still does not help you to come to a conclusion you will have to eventually make a decision between your husband and having a child. This is one of the most difficult decisions that most women will ever make and should not be taken lightly.

It is not fair to force a man to have a child when he doesn’t want one. It is also not fair to stay in a marriage where the partners have such different goals for the future. Having children is a very big decision that you will have many years to come to a conclusion on. Neither the birth of a child nor the end of a marriage should be taken lightly. Make sure you take plenty of time to come to decision before doing either.

How to Deal with Unrequited Love

Posted in Dating, Love, Relationship on May 7th, 2010 by Mental Health – Be the first to comment

Broken HeartJust about everyone has had the misfortune of falling in love with a person who did not love them back.  It is a very common occurrence especially with young people. Though many people would argue about the depth of love that is not returned, it is a powerful emotion for the person who is in love. Unrequited love is simply a natural part of the human existence. We will often fall in love with other people who either do not share the same feelings or do not know how we feel. Here are some tips for dealing with this terrible emotion.

Acceptance

A big part of getting past unrequited love revolves around acceptance. You must accept that the object of your affection does not have the same feelings for you. If you do not accept this you are going to waste a lot of your life pining away for someone who will probably never acknowledge your feelings and more than likely doesn’t deserve them.

It is impossible to move on from an unrequited love affair when you are still clinging to the hope that things will play out the way you want them to. Shut the door and move on. Making a clean break when you realize you are in over your head emotionally is the best thing to do for both parties involved.

Spend Time with Others

One of the best things that you can do to get over an unrequited love affair is to seek the solace of others. Take more time out to spend with your family and friends. Date other people, though it might not be all that fun at first you might discover that you can feel pretty warm and fuzzy about someone else through the experience of dating others.

Avoid the Object of Your Unrequited Affection

You should if possible try to get away from the lover who does not return your feelings. Many time love affairs that are unrequited revolve around characters that have little or no interest in you but have no problem stringing you along. This is definitely a time to bail out and avoid the other person. Otherwise you are just going to torture yourself.

Other times unrequited love is lavished on a person whose made it very clear about how they feel for us, but for whom we still have feelings. These people should be avoided as well if at all possible. Though the relationship isn’t quite as toxic as the first scenario, it can still be pretty painful.

Regardless of the situation if someone is in another relationship or simply has no interest in you but you are in love with them spending a lot of time with this is going to be torture. You need to make all possible moves to avoid an unrequited love object. Do not spend time alone with this person, do not spend hours on the phone with them, spend your time seeking out a lover who will be able to reciprocate your feelings.